I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
