Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
