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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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