My room smells like vodka and shame
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
