You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize