gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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