Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.

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(361): View more from Texas

yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.

(361): View more from Texas

I just can't bring boyfriends home.

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(361): View more from Texas

Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.

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(807): View more from Ontario

your like the ambassador to my penis.

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(708): View more from Illinois

There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.

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(714): View more from California

Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?

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(616): View more from Michigan

The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.

(248): View more from Michigan

I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.

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