If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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