i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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