im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
