When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
