There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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