It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
