My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
