nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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