i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
