no. you can't hotbox the world.
it's like iHOP with fire
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
