I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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