I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
