TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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