Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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