once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
