he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
