Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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