didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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