when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
