I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
