Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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