is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
