i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
