Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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