the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
