i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
