Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
