Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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