p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
