If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
