She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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