Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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