I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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