She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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