I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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