So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
