seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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