Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry JEEPSTEERTYAD hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.

Fav 24 8021 1325
share tweet
(808): View more from Hawaii

You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.

Fav 27 1892 3581
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(740): View more from Ohio

she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse

Fav 14 5098 1397
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar

Fav 12 8378 1439
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

DRUNK CANOEING

(804): View more from Virginia

Please text me if you survive.

(207): View more from Maine

LAND HO BITCH

Fav 27 10891 1408
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring

Fav 2 2388 942
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.

Fav 1 1863 959
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband

Fav 4 1566 395
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome

Fav 0 86 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT