An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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