I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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