The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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