talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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