i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
