Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
